ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
