i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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