these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
