I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He passed out mid-signature
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize