Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
