adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
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