You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
