Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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