i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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