ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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