I puked a lego.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
no you cant smoke seaweed
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
sex in a hospital.. check
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
