i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
