The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
