People with herpes should wear stickers.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
