please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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