WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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