Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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