He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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