Fuck appropriateness.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
