I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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