if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
