I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
