I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
