Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
