I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
it's like iHOP with fire
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
