she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Randomize
