oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
