It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
