Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
