He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
