Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
