this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You are a genius and a whore.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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