That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
