no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
