Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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