she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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