??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize