i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
We have started to decorate penises.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
