Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
