Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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