Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
