So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize