Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize