Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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