so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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