yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
