his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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