i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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