Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
