hotel room ftw
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
