Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
