she sounds like chewbacca in bed
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
