Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
