I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
