her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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