so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
