I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
