I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
