there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
