Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize