So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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